James Deen Blog

I got nothing.

It was my last day in Barcelona so guess where I spent it… At the mother fucking beach!!!!  I didn’t lick anything because I was too busy getting drunk and doing laundry.  I guess I could lick the weird spanish washer/dryer all in one unit.  Hmmmmm maybe I will do that.  Anyway,  it is now time for the next part of my journey.  I am going to travel through France first but not famous France.  Tomorrow (or today when this blog actually posts) I am going to a city in France that has some name I can’t pronounce or spell.  It is some small city in the north of France that is known for it’s amazing cheese and wine and vaginas and stuff.  I’m pretty jazzed because we all know how much I love France and french things.

here I am at the beach

yeah… I licked it… We all knew I was going to

So there is this sport called “football” that these crazy europeans like to play.  I’m told it is a lot like the american game “soccer”, which I also know nothing about.  Apparently there are a lot of people who are really into this game, and when I say really into I mean like riots and shit.  Barcelona was playing manchester and they won so everyone in Barcelona decided to run to la rambla and get extremely drunk and scream at the top of their lungs.  So naturally Princess Donna decides that we should bring some hot spanish chick there and strip her naked and chain her to a light post.  I’d have to say this might be PublicDisgrace history.  There were literally about 10,000 people surrounding this ridiculously hot naked chick and the decent looking light post.  It got a little out of hand but then I started singing Bouncing Souls and since everyone here is so extremely punk rock they all got REALLY into it.  OLE OLE OLE OLE!!!!!!!

here was the time we tied her up without THAT many people around

here was the riot and that super awesome lamp post

here I am licking the door to my hotel

I am feeling very unenthused about today’s blog post.  I keep trying to get started and then I erase everything and stare blankly at the electronic screen.  Maybe it is because I didn’t lick anything today.  I mean, I tied a naked chick up in the middle of some town square in Barcelona and then paraded her naked through the street.  Well kind of naked.  Point was it was all just the normal stuff.  I can’t believe I didn’t lick anything.  I suck.

Basically an uneventful day.  I went to the beach and ate some pizza.  It was disgusting.  The pizza not the beach.  The beach is amazing… Except there are always the same three naked dudes there.  I call one “super buff tramp stamp guy,” or “tramp stamp” for short.  There is also “swollen belly old man.”  And “skinny old dude with extremely swollen ball sack.”  I bet you can guess exactly what they look like based on their nicknames.  I’ve been to the beach on all sorts of days of the week and at all sorts of times of day, and these three dudes are ALWAYS there.  I don’t know what they do… Like for jobs, but whatever it is they have super nice supervisors for letting them all take off for 6-10 hours a day to go get naked on the beach.  I wonder if the state pays these dudes to hang out on the beach in order to makemore attractive people more comfortable with their body’s so they’ll get naked instead…?

This is NOT what a burrito should look like

I haven’t seen anyone actually wearing creepers since ’93