James Deen Blog

Today I worked with Brooke Banner. Brooke is super hot for many obvious reasons but my personal favorite is that she drives a big ass truck. There are few things sexier than hot chicks that drive big trucks. Our scene made no sense at all. She was a geisha girl (even though she is blonde with big fake boobs and a sleeve of tattoos) she showed up at my house and I felt her up then had her clean my kitchen and feed me sushi. Then I told her to shower and I had sex with her. It wasn’t the dumbest thing I ever did but it was up there. I honestly don’t care how dumb the setup was I am just happy I got to bang her. Let it be said here and now… “Brooke banner is good in the sack!!!”

As for food… I was going to review this restaurant I ate at the other night but I’m being lazy and I’m busy with like a million things so I’m going to review the crappy store bought sushi I ate off of Brooke Banners boobs. The sushi sucked sooooo much. I am pretty sure someone got this from the market left it in their car for a few hours then put in the freezer. I give this sushi two boobs down… Like way down, flopping to the ankles.

Holy shit so much shit to review!!! I’m going to take it easy and save my big review for tomorrow. Right now I’m just going to review Quiznos. There was a battle on Twitter of Quiznos vs Subway and I have to say I’m on team Quiznos. Not because I prefer toasted subs or anything, I’ve just had a better overall experience there. Honestly I think both places are absolute crap but if I had to choose I would say that pretend gourmet sandwiches are better that stale bread and sub par ingredients. I don’t even think Quiznos deserves a boob rating… If they start carrying burritos then I will think about it.

I did however totally bang Bobbi Starr and that was pretty rad. I also shot a girl named Asphyxia getting banged by my boy mick blue. That was also rad. I’ve been bangingBobbi Starr since her third scene and the act never seems to get old. I keep expecting it to get redundant but every time I put my penis in this girl she pulls out some new trick to make the sexing super awesome.

Here are some pictures of bobbi starr and her boobs

And here is asphyxia wearing the most awesome motorcycle helmet ever

And here is a picture of the makeup artist’s awesomely huge boobs!!!

Ok so last night I ate some pasta… It was made at my house and until last night I didn’t really know you could fuck up pasta.  Apparently if you cook pasta for a really long time is gets super soggy and smooshy and gross.  I would give my pasta a saggy donkey tit… What can I say I am my own worst critic.

For sex I had me some Dylan Ryder.  Dylan has got some big fake boobs and I took a picture of them.  Then I had sex with her. The end

Today I will be reviewing a place I got a pizza from. Well actually someone else got it for me. I was told the place is on Cahuenga, near the 101, in a deli, in a plaza, next to a subway. It was a bbq chicken pizza and it was ok. I put it in the fridge until it was cold and then tried it again. The second time it was actually a little better. Call me crazy but I like cold pizza more. I give this nameless restaurant one super nice b boob. So if you ever come across this place and you’re starving it is worth a shot.

As for sex I totally got to bang Lou Charmelle again. As you know I am a fan of hot french chicks that like to put things up their asses. Also, more importantly she knows my “no panties allowed” rule!!! Anyways, sex with Lou is awesome and I am pretty sure I could bang her every couple days and never get bored… GOD BLESS SEXY FRENCH CHICKS!!!!

I think I’m going to change this mother fucker up!!!  I’m going to start updating in the morning with the food review and vagina pictures from the day before.  I’ve decided if I try to write a post after I have sex I just end up writing retarded things.  So stay tuned and tomorrow morning you can read all about my sexual exploits and gluttony